questions

Me and my crystals and my
wine.

My feelings are so fucking loud I can’t
drown
suffocate
forget
leave behind.

Everything sticks to me
good
and bad.

It permeates my skin it
forms my being.
I am an amalgamation of my experiences.

Balance balance balance!!!!
All I seek is balance.

No wait

all I seek is to be seen…..
understood.

What do you do when the one person
who
SAW
you
is gone forever?

It all comes back to fucking
you.

At least I am justified in my obsession
a part of me always knew I’d lose
you.

Why couldn’t you be stronger?
Why do I have to be the one to survive
over and over again

The men in my life simply
expire
without any answers for their emotional turmoil

One day……

well I dare not say.

Discourse on Duality

There exists in me so many versions, “duality” doesn’t seem to cover it. Yet, I guess anything can be broken down into binaries…I am many versions of myself. I am all sorts of confluencing parts & pieces, so often seemingly at odds, by their very nature. I worry I am both too smart and not smart enough & I worry that the empathy and kindness I think I possess is just another reflection of narcissism; the way in which we all see the world through our own specific point of view. How can any one person know or decide what is truly good or right? We can spend all day doing mental gymnastics, trying to justify our beliefs but at the end of the day the logic is predicated on absolutes, of which we can truly know nothing for certain. And so here we arrive at absurdism or nihilism or perhaps you prefer to pawn it off to Gods or Spirits, all in all it shows how truly reticent we are to dive head first into the unknown. There always has to be an answer. The ultimate duality presents itself as the desire to know in absolutes and the fear of any unknowns.

what doesn’t kill you

Grief is a big feeling
that comfortably stretches out over time
expanding & contracting
unable to be contained

She will consume you if you let her
the deep dark cavernous halls
she’ll show you deep inside

The fire burns
but does she devour inwards or outwards
what is life without suffering,
the perfect partner to pleasure

My tears they fall like rain
and yet I laugh
to keep such pain is to know such love

How lucky am I
my heart breaks so deeply
if only because my highs feel heavenly
I am a god, I am dirt.

hot hot heat

The casual caliente nature that is evoked by the sounds of a Spanish guitar
Feeling the soft, sticky hot breeze.
A lick of my salty smooth skin.

My hips move to the music,
the way the leaves sway gently in the wind.
I glisten, I glow.

A warmth, a devilish nature.
I’ve always had this thing inside me;
burning passion ready to escape.

The sun shines down on me
heating up my body
reminding me of the ardor of the day.

The evening moon creeps in slowly
basking me in luminous light
casting devious shadows.

I am both contained and unrestrained
painfully self-contained
begging to break free.

reflections on being

I struggle to write the right thing,
always concerned with if I sound
deep enough, consumable enough
like, would I like this if I read it on instagram?

Is it relatable enough? Trendy enough?
Did I reference the right thing? Do I have the right problems?
Or is it just obvious and contrived.

Is this my inner critic?
Or a glimpse of the truth?
The black and white,
the back & forth.

The latent insecurity, lets not forget about that.
Protection of image, protection of ego.
Unnecessary tethers I can’t seem to shake.

I try to educate myself into the person I want to be,
like if I read this book or take this class,
or get that job,
I’ll be smart enough, good enough, important enough.

Why is being in itself not gratifying,
that I must constantly seek to find value.
An impending need to cement my unknown legacy.

First Encounter

I could write about storms or sunshine, I could regale you with tales of drama and debauchery, or I could lament, but oh how I’ve already lamented (can one ever lament too much though, really?). Surely those aren’t the only options but less I digress into endless list making and distract myself from the tale at large….I mean the tale on the tip of my tongue begging to come out! Only, you’ll never believe me if I tell you, will you? There’s only one way to find out, as the old saying goes.

This tale is not like the others, or maybe it is, a little bit. But in a lot of ways its really quite different. Like I said, you have to go with me a bit, suspend your disbelief, slip into the grey area of the imagination, well I mean it should really be called the rainbow prism of the imagination, but yet again I digress.

There’s something so tantalizing about the start of a good story, the way you lean in closer and adjust yourself accordingly to get the best view or earshot or whatever. It must be human nature, the art of gossip, of talking amongst one another, about one another. Yet this is a tale about me. At least I think it was me, at this point it almost feels like a dream.

You’re probably wondering what’s going on, when is the story going to start. I promise this is all going somewhere, I’m not building you up just to bring you down. I just want to set the stage, set the mood, set the tone, really. Once we reach the peak I’m sure you’ll understand my point.

Anyways, here goes, like promised. I’m about to start. It was a night like no other, I was listening to music; something soft and unassuming, real background music type vibes. I was paying light attention to my surroundings, growing dimmer as the late autumn sun crawled beneath the horizon. I shivered slightly, feeling the cool chill brought on by the last kiss of summer. I had layered up, knowing the warm days could turn deceivingly brisk, but I had to admit the layers were light and the outfit was of course for looks more than function.

Now we’re getting to the part where you probably won’t believe me, but I swear you need to just trust me, suspend your disbelief. So there I was walking along the near deserted backroads, fields on either side of me, filled with various crops and animals, houses few and far between, the music humming gently in my ears, I skip along really, more than I walk. My own personal music video. At least in my head. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Okay so here’s where it gets weird.

I am suddenly overcome by a spine chilling feeling, like a line of ants just crawled up my back as my blood runs with ice. Then I see it, the telltale blinding light that starts every story like this. And I hear the strange hyper-realistic sound, a noise I both can’t quite place and seem to have always known. I am scared in a nervous way yet something cements my feet to the ground and my music has seemingly shut off to match the mood. (Smart phones really are getting too smart).

After what feels like forever the light dims down to a visible level and I see a shiny metal shape emerging in the distance. A round disk with flashing lights and high-tech looking gear and knobs and nozzles protruding from every which way. The door starts to open; my breath catches in my chest. The world seems to hit pause. Only the door is moving. Slowly. Painfully slowly. A figure emerges from the smoke – do they have a smoke machine on board?! The way my brain wanders….even at a time like this.

Suddenly the figure approaches me, my feet still held in place by their invisible bonds. I can’t help but feel the excitement creeping up through my toes, up through my calves, my thighs, my stomach, my chest, my neck, right up to the very crown of my head. My eyes adjust to the strange surroundings and focus on the figure approaching, expecting……expecting………well not at all what the fuck I’m seeing right now.

Before me stands the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. Tall, dark, handsome, all of the classic adjectives and some how more. His eyes betray a sort of emotional intelligence and softness, yet he is unmistakably smouldering with masculine energy. Suddenly I am scared, but in a whole new, excited way. In fact I can feel my tiny lacy thong growing wetter by the second. What kind of sick mirage was I experiencing?

He continues his slow determined stride towards my frozen figure. I stand mesmerized and curious, on the edge of my seat….or I guess feet, waiting to see what would happen next. Suddenly he was standing right in front of me, more perfect and glistening closer up. The aura he was exuding was impossible to ignore. The seemingly ideal specimen a few inches away. “Don’t be scared.” said the low, steady voice, reading my mind. “My name is X7Gh8jI90- HU*, but you can call me Xavier” he said with a smirk. He, there I go gendering the alien.

“Would you like to see my ship” his voice was almost playful, his eyes impossible to read now. “I……I………yeah sure” was all I could muster. He took my hand and suddenly electric shocks ran through my body and my feet were once again able to move as normal. I followed Xavier without hesitation towards the ship. I was almost certain no one would ever believe me at this point, but I couldn’t help but see it through.

I climbed slowly up the ramp towards the, really honestly rave-resembling, inner hull of the spaceship. “This is my, uh crib, I think you would say here?”. With that I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, momentarily forgetting that I was in the presence of ET. You would expect Xavier to blush, but no, he smiled, seemingly delighted by my amusement. What a captivating creature. Xavier continued to show me around the lofted space, the various control panels and command centres looking absolutely sci-fi, while the kitchen, living room, and bathrooms looked exactly like they would on a cruise ship. I was definitely impressed. Yet I couldn’t help myself…..

“Where do you sleep……..amongst other things” the last part was under my breath, or so I thought. Xavier smiled at me again, this time in a more devouring, salacious kind of way. Again I felt shivers, but this time they weren’t up my spine. “Let me show you” he said, his voice delicious black velvet. This was unlike any of the space media I had consumed, or even heard of.

Again Xavier reached for my hand, each time he touched me a new spark ignited somewhere deep down inside of me. It was a longer walk than expected, though once there it did not disappoint. Aliens really know how to do comfort and luxury, let me tell you that much. There was rich colours and plush fabrics, ornate metals and glasses, tasteful and bold. The pièce de résistance a gorgeous California king (and then some, honestly), a canopy bed with sturdier than usual looking posts and the same dark, rich, plush, ornate theme that encompassed the entire room.

I walked around the room, taking time to look at all of the various features and decorations, doing my best to avoid the bed, certain that it was the only thing on both our minds. “Like what you see?” Xavier asked, though I had a feeling it was more of a thought than a question by the way it seemed to come out in a purr. I turned towards the bed and walked over, running my hand along the ever soft duvet while looking him straight in the bright green eyes. My breath caught in my throat at this point, again time seemed suspended as I calculated my next move. Suddenly I was at the left bottom post of the bed and I noticed a metal ring. “What’s this?” I asked.

Now he really grinned, full on sinister like, and yet, I had never been more turned on in my life. My pussy was on fire at this point and it took everything to maintain eye contact and not let my eyes roam down his tight body to check if his pants were as tented as I hoped they’d be. Xavier strode confidently over to me and swooped me up with what seemed like the movement of a prima ballerina, yet I could feel his strength enveloping me. I had no idea what I was doing at this point. I just knew I wanted to keep going. His hand grabbed the side of my face firmly drawing it towards his own as his soft lips pressed into mine, his tongue just gently grazing the entrance of my lips as I yielded to him completely.

Xavier opened the drawer beside him and pulled out four cuffs with silver chains that matched the rings that I now realized were on all four pillars of the bed. “Now, I’d hate to ruin such a sexy outfit. Why don’t you take it off for me” he commanded. I obeyed. I slipped off my clothes, hands trembling slightly, me trying desperately to hide my growing excitement. “Everything” he purred again, once I had gotten down to my bra and panties and hesitated. I looked up at him through my lashes, daring him to make the next move. He flipped me so that my head was facing the end of the bed, slightly hanging off the edge, my back on the mattress and quickly secured the four cuffs and chains to my arms, legs, and the bed posts, respectively.

He stepped away, standing in front of my now upside down view, he began to remove his own space clothing. He revealed a body that was as perfect as I had imagined, so much so that I basically started salivating as he removed his shirt and began to unfasten his pants. I couldn’t wait for what was to come next. Xavier slid his pants down painfully slow, his black boxers betraying the ever present bulge growing harder by the second. “Are you ready” he taunted as he stepped towards me, finally hooking his thumbs into his waistband and lowering the last layer of fabric off his chiseled body.

His hard cock sprung out and it was the most perfect delicious looking dick I had ever seen in my life, I had to have it in me at that very moment. I went to reach out for him instinctively, forgetting my shackles. He laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes” he pushed his tip into my mouth, my tongue eagerly awaiting it’s entry, as I began to lick and suck all the way up and down his shaft as he thrust gently in my mouth. He increased the pace of his thrusts, his long hard cock beginning to hit the back of my throat as he deep-throat-face- fucked my eager mouth.

Suddenly his hands started working down my body, first massaging my breasts than moving ever so painfully slow down my taut stomach towards my aching pussy. He found my clit with expert dexterity and began to massage his fingers around it, all the while pressing his palm down onto my mound stimulating all the nerves he could with one hand. I wiggled under his weight and his hands, now working tirelessly to make me cum. I couldn’t help myself as I felt my pussy began to tighten and I lost control of my mouth, not that it mattered, the way he was driving the ship at that point.

“I’m going to fuck you now” he growled at me, suddenly sounding animalistic, or rather, alien-istic. He was on top of me in an instant, the weight of his gorgeous body pressing against mine ever so sensually. He looked into my eyes and kissed me deeply, for a moment, we simply explored each others bodies, while our mouths did the talking, in quite a close and contained way. Xavier pulled away and directed his rock hard throbbing cock towards my slick entrance, teasing the slit with the head of his dick. “Please…..fuck me already” I couldn’t stop myself from moaning. With that he plunged his stiff member into my opening and I saw stars instantly, I had never felt such instantaneous pleasure, not an orgasm, but the immense decadence of the tease.

His thrusts were impeccable, alternating speeds, depths and strength at varying, delectable intervals, all the while one hand continued to stimulate my pulsing clit while the other squeezed my neck in just the right way. I squirmed unable to contain myself as I felt another orgasm begin to build from deep within me. “I….I’m……..I’mmm gonnnnna cum” I stuttered again, my brain melting under the effects of extreme pleasure. “Good.” was all that came as response. Suddenly I felt it building from my pussy, spreading outward through my limbs, my neural pathways seemingly all alight as I began to gush, squirting and cumming at the same time. “Thats a good girl” Xavier purred with ferocity as he continued to pump in and out of me all the while the waves of pleasure rode through me, racking my body.

“Now it’s my turn” he said, breathy and excited, “open your mouth”. I did as I was instructed without even thinking, he shoved his dick down my throat once again and a torrent of salty sweet hot liquid poured down it. I lay there panting, unable to process what just happened, as Xavier removed the cuffs and scooped me onto his lap, petting my hair, kissing me all over. “There’s just something about you” he mused, half to me, half to himself, fully to some entity known as the universe. I told you you’d never believe me once I told you my story.

dangerous liaisons (the best friend)

There’s a first time for everything, I guess. I never imagined there would be a first time for this though. As I lay in bed, watching the morning light streaming through the haphazard blinds, casting lazy shadows on the hardwood floor, I couldn’t help but flash back to scenes of last night. How could something so wrong feel so right? Shivers ran down my spine as I recalled the feeling of him kissing my neck, the way my stomach flipped at the prospect of crossing over into uncharted territory. 

I’m getting way too ahead of myself, I should give you a bit of backstory so you can truly appreciate just how absolutely explosive this was, I mean I know everyone says that or thinks that or whatever, but truly, this was one of those times when you really felt the earth shattering pleasure that can come from a connection with the right person…….anyways, I’m getting carried away again. 

It was a normal night like any other, I was hanging out with a few of my guy friends and one other girl friend, having some drinks, smoking some weed and listening to music. The conversation was normal, the guys mostly acted like we weren’t there, and I didn’t mind the free research study into the inner workings of men. They were all decent guys, conventionally attractive and well-liked, but I had been too preoccupied with another guy to really ever take any notice. Besides, they went through girls easily enough, whether it was girlfriends or hookups, I had no intentions of being another part of the parade. 

There was something about the energy that night, it was as if there was an electric current running through the air. Something you could feel in your bones a bit and…..If I’m being completely honest, there was one of the guys I had noticed, in a completely harmless way, I mean I have eyes, I knew he was fucking hot. And he was one of my closest friends. I guess if I’m really being honest, I may not have been totally preoccupied with the other guy. 

Anyways, we were drinking and having a good time, enjoying the warm air and light vibe to the night, I noticed Jake – that’s the guy I was talking about before, my friend, I mean, Jake was being super nice to me, super attentive, if I didn’t know any better I would’ve thought we were flirting. He stared into my eyes at one point and my stomach dropped, suddenly the whole atmosphere felt different. I was certain there was some sort of chemical reaction unfolding between us that I could never have predicted. 

Suddenly, someone suggested we play a fun game of ‘Never Have I Ever’. Game on, I thought. I giggled nervously as I knew this was about to get steamy. As the questions progressed, things got hotter and hotter. We started revealing secret sex stories, never explored fantasies, and more. I felt outside myself, like I was so hot and bothered and yet I couldn’t believe I was here, doing this. All the while I felt Jake beside me, we kept making little movements and “accidentally” touching one another; his hand against the small of my back, my palm pressed into his thigh, him moving a stray strand of hair away from my eyes and tucking it behind my ear. I could feel myself getting wet and I was confused and excited, unsure of where the night would take us.

As the night progressed, the guys went to bed one by one, Michelle even went off to bed with Paul, thinking none of us noticed. Suddenly it was just me and Jake. The lights were low, I was just drunk enough to feel sexy and brave, and clearly he was too. The music throbbed lightly in the background and I couldn’t help myself, I jumped on his lap and straddled him, looking deep into his eyes again. “Fuck. You’re so hot.” he said breathlessly, his boyish smile adorning his charming face. “Are we really gonna do this?” I said, suddenly feeling coy. He grabbed my chin and pulled my face close to his, kissing me slowly at first, then deepening into it, finally all of our repressed attraction bubbling to the surface until we couldn’t contain ourselves.

“This is so fucking sexy” he moaned as he nibbled my ear gently. “I want you so bad” I breathed as I moved down towards his pants, undoing them and watching his big, hard cock spring out. I felt like my mouth was practically watering when I saw how beautiful it was. I immediately started licking the tip, using the moisture to wet the rest of his dick as I began to stroke my hand up and down the bottom of his shaft, moving my mouth further and further down with each lick. He kept making comments, telling me how good I was, and how hot it was that we were finally doing this and I felt my pussy get wetter and wetter. He pulled me off his cock and began moving his adept fingers around my glistening cunt, using my juices to rub my clit as I moaned with excitement before thrusting his fingers inside me, expertly fingering me. 
I came on his fingers, and pulled him towards me, kissing him deeply, unable to contain the lust I felt for him at this moment. He threw me down on the couch and lined his throbbing hard cock up with my wet pussy. He teased my opening, sliding his warm cock up and down my slit before finally slipping it in, inch by inch, and then slowly, taking it out, before finally he began to pick up speed and I really started to lose it. I couldn’t believe I was having sex with my best friend, this was crazy.

He moved my legs up onto his shoulders and began to thrust harder and deeper into me, maintaining eye contact and deepening the hold he had on me at this moment. I was overwhelmed with feeling, a ball of raw nerves, unable to conceptualize what I was doing, loving every minute of it. He flipped me over again, into doggy. “Wow, your ass takes my breath away” he sighed as he pushed my head down into the mattress and began pounding me hard and deep. I couldn’t contain myself at this point, I was practically shrieking with pleasure.

“I want to see you cum, he said, as he flipped me over once more, he held my legs together close as he thrust in and out of me, one hand softly rubbing my clit while the other was around my neck. I was about to explode. “Ugh fuck, Jake I’m gonna cum….I’m cuming….I’m cuming.” he kissed me deeply and I felt fireworks in that moment. As soon as I started cumming, so did he, until we both fell back on the couch, panting heavily, our faces contorting into massive grins. “That was…….” he looked at me “fucking crazy” I smiled back. I had no idea what this meant for our friendship, but at that moment I was on cloud 9.

the heat of may

I had just done something I’ve never done before. Sure I had written stories like that before, I had posted them online, read by my friends and enemies alike, inhibitions truly free, but never before had I written a story specifically for someone. With someone in mind. His essence dripping from word to word, his name etched there in front of me in some perverted love letter, the evidence of my feelings that I had been trying to ignore since the moment I met him. He was the culmination of everything I had come to love and yearn for in a man. The perfect storm for a girl who felt more like a desert, starved for any signs of life. 

I sent it to him on his birthday. We exchanged sly smiles when I met him in the kitchen and breathlessly told him “check your email, I sent you something”. He rushed up the stairs and I felt the butterflies in my stomach grow as I awaited his reaction…..luckily I didn’t have to wait long, as he burst into my room, matching my earlier flustered condition. Grinning from ear to ear like a sheepish young boy, he was in disbelief “you wrote that about me? Thats so fucking hot”. I melted on the spot. He moved in towards me swiftly and scooped me up in his strong arms, kissing me with fervor, the passion of his lust spilling out onto me. I was absolutely mesmerized, consumed by the magnitude of his adoration. 

We went downstairs, my legs quaking slightly – I was certain everyone at the party would notice and I would be left stammering trying to think of a possible excuse. No one noticed, as is to be expected. All day I could feel the current between us, however. Everytime he glanced my way, or his shoulder grazed mine, or I felt his gravitational pull, centering itself around me, I felt the shocks up my spine, all through my fingers and toes. I was terrified and excited, all at once. 

While it was nothing short of a night to remember, the real excitement came a few days later when we were finally alone. Everyone had left the house with other engagements. It was just me and him for the rest of the night. The excitement that had been building within me ever since I hit send on that email was coursing through my veins, sending little shocks to my extremities at random intervals. I could tell he was feeling it too. The nervous energy between the two of us at that point probably could have powered the whole house.

You’d think the first thing I would want to do once I got him alone would be to push him up against a wall and kiss him with the same heat he had put on me just a few days earlier, beg him to have his way with me, to recreate the story I had written for him. But the build was slow, and deliciously painful. We spent the afternoon outside by the pool, enjoying each other’s company and soaking up the sunshine. We listened to music and talked, dancing around the subject, the electricity hanging in the air between us and building with every stolen glance.

Finally we moved inside. I went to my room to change, not bothering to close the door. The next thing I knew, he was standing in my doorway. Looming before me, imposing not just because of his stature but because of the immense control he was currently wielding over me. My stomach was in knots as he looked at me darkly, seductively, his face shadowed with lust. “That story you wrote me was so fucking hot. All day my friends kept telling me how lucky I was to have you, and all I could think about was what I wanted to do to you.” The entire expanse of my skin was covered in goosebumps as I anticipated what was to come next. He strode towards me confidently and grabbed my chin with his strong, capable hands. He looked into my eyes for a few lingering seconds before he moved in for a kiss. Kissing me passionately, deeply. All I knew in that moment was him. I was absolutely consumed by him, ready for whatever came next. 

I hooked my fingers into his swim trunks and pulled him towards the bed, pushing him down as I lowered them down to his ankles and brought his now hardening cock out into the hazy afternoon light. I kneeled in between his legs and began slowly, teasingly, licking the tip of his dick. My hands gripped his thighs, steadying myself as I moved my tongue along the sides of his swollen member. He moaned lightly and ran his hands through my hair, applying light pressure to my head as I continued to increase the intensity of my movements. I began bobbing my head up and down, bringing it half way up before plunging it back down towards his balls, stopping every so often to swirl my tongue around his tip, all the while using one hand to stroke his shaft while the other caressed his balls. 

Before long, he couldn’t take it any longer, he pulled me up towards me and threw me down on the bed as if in one swift motion. I could feel my pussy throbbing with anticipation, eagerly awaiting whichever method he would use to pleasure me. He began kissing my ears, softly, slowly, barely grazing the bottoms of my ear lobes before moving down my neck, along my collar bones, leaving a trail of electrified skin as he went. He reached my breasts and ripped off my bikini top, taking my tits in his hands and applying pressure before moving his tongue to my nipples, stopping on them briefly before again continuing down towards my dripping pussy. 

Meanwhile, his hand had been teasing my clit, rubbing around it, getting my blood flowing, barely able to contain myself. I was moaning in his ear already. He slipped one finger into my wet hole and began fingering me in a come hither motion, still toying with my clit with his other fingers, it was almost too good to handle, I could feel an orgasm building. His mouth made it to my hips and he started kissing towards my aching cunt, desperate for more I bucked my hips out towards him. He chuckled devilishly as his tongue plunged inside me and I moaned loudly, uncontrollably. He continually licked and applied pressure with his tongue, not letting me wriggle away from the pleasure growing deep within me. 

Finally, I couldn’t take it, I had to have him inside me at that moment or I was going to explode. I pulled his face up to mine and kissed him as if his mouth held the antidote I needed to survive. His intensity matched mine and he lined his rock hard cock up with my slit. “Wait – grab your vibrator” he smiled wickedly down at me. I did as I was told and grabbed my toy out from my nightstand beside us. He turned it on and put it on my clit sending shockwaves through my body already. Just then he plunged his throbbing member deep inside me, at which point I think it’s safe to say I fully lost my mind. I was consumed by a need, a need for his body, a need like none other I had ever felt, powered by pent up lust and the feeling that this was all or nothing. I rocked my hips up towards him, arching my back and creating the perfect, tight, hold on his dick, thrusting in and out of me. 
“You’re so fucking hot” he moaned through a clenched jaw, focused on his performance, not knowing that just having him there inside me in this moment was ecstasy enough. I wanted to tell him that in that moment he was the culmination of all my dreams, but I held my tongue, overcome anyways by the growing sensations spreading through my body as I reached the peak of yet another orgasm. “I’m gonna cum babe, don’t stop” I whined, my breaths shallow. He continued driving into me, all the while we stared into each other’s eyes, until finally we both reached the apex of our pleasure at the same moment, the whole world instantly melding into background noise as I felt my pussy squeezing his cock dry of every last drop.

We lay there not speaking for a few moments, before we both began to giggle, shly almost, as if we hadn’t just known each other so primally. “I’m starving after that” he proclaimed, “let me get myself cleaned up and I’ll make you something to eat” I smiled, embracing my sudden urge towards domesticity.

colour theory

I don’t know what it is for you
but for me it’s music.

You know what I mean
that thing that brings you back to a memory

No, to a feeling.

You crawl into a new skin
or really, an old skin.

A phase or a version
of who you once were.

All that, contained in a lyric, or a tone or,
I don’t know what it is for you.

I guess I would say
I’ve always had a thing with music.

All the things I could never say
all the things I felt so deeply.

The kind of feeling that makes you believe
in time traveling.

I know that sounds, dramatic
but think about.

To feel the exact way that you did
in any given moment.

All wrapped up in a verse-chorus-hook little gift wrapped package.

I don’t know what it is for you
but for me it’s the feeling you get…..

when you’re home alone at dusk
dancing around with your headphones in

the star of your own reality show,
the vibration from the tip of your crown

all the way down into your toes.

I don’t know what it is for you…..

madness under moonlight

Abigail looked out at the sprawling vista before her, the flickering hues of orange and yellow grazing the tree tops and bathing the valleys with golden light, while the first hints of the days crepuscule spilled over, threatening to bathe the very same hills and valleys in darkness. She shuddered as she considered the brevity of a day, and vowed to herself to be more conscientious of how she spent her time.

Abigail had always been a hard worker, she got good grades in school, which did not come naturally. She worked very hard in order to maintain her 85% average in order to get into the schools of her choosing. In turn, she had had a job since she was twelve and a half; first a lemonade stand with her friends, which turned into a booth at the county fair selling her freshly squeezed juices, and eventually as she grew older more corporate, structured jobs. All this was to say that Abigail was not one to stop and smell the roses. But now, now that she had reached a certain modicum of success, a comfortable life, she wondered what exactly she had missed out on throughout all those years of trying hard.

As she looked out over her gorgeous backyard view, and the warm air blew the edges of her cotton dress, she decided that night she would go out and really take in the experiences that life had to offer. She headed inside towards the all glass back wall of her estate, mentally picking out items from her usually conservative closet that she could turn into a smoking hot outfit for a night of fun., outside of her comfort zone.

She showered in no particular rush, taking the time to lather her body and ensure she had shaved every last bit of hair, hoping it would help instill her with the confidence she might need tonight. Once she got out and towelled off, she walked gently over to the mini fridge in her dressing room and grabbed one of the bottles of champagne she kept in there for emergencies…….if this wasn’t an emergency, she didn’t know what was. She popped the cork and brought the icy cold bottle to her lips, taking a few swigs of liquid courage before heading over to her makeup table.

Abigail, who was usually one for more soft, natural looks, decided to embody her new, bold take on life and went for a sultry, smoky look. She was amazed with how her eyes seemed to pop and her lips formed the perfect insolent pout. A chill ran down her spine as she made eye contact with herself in the mirror and saw the potential unfolding before her, hiding somewhere below her usually poised and polished surface. She blow dried her hair and put in some product in order to achieve an effortless, full, beachy look.

Finally, the moment of truth, choosing an outfit. She took a big inhale as she stepped into her walk in closet, faced with the task of choosing THE outfit. She was determined to step as far out of her comfort zone as possible, so she selected a short black leather mini skirt, hiding on the back of a shelf, she slipped on a pair of simple black louboutin pumps and for her top, she had selected a lacy black bra under a black silk button up. Finally, she put on a simple choker, with a black leather band and one simple canary diamond hanging down from the front. Perfect, she thought to herself smugly, admiring her final look in the mirror.

She instructed the town car driver to take her to a bar downtown that looked dark and inconspicuous on google. Her body hummed with electricity as she anticipated the night ahead. She had finished the champagne while she had gotten ready, the bubbly beverage now coursing through her veins and empowering her further into the night. It wasn’t long before they pulled up to the bar and the driver got out to open her door. Her long legs exited the car before she did and she shivered in the cool evening air, cursing herself for not having thought to throw on a jacket, she could feel the silk of her shirt brush against her hard, lace covered nipples. 

Abigail was quickly ushered inside and strode over to the bar, where she sat down and promptly ordered a shot of patron, and a dirty martini. She took the shot with no chaser, no salt, reveling in the sting and the warmth flowing through her body. As she put her glass down on the bar, a figure approached her from the dark back of the bar. Her eyes, initially bleary from the patron, but uninhibited enough from the champagne, drifted over towards it, instantly locking in on the handsome face appearing before her.

He was dark and rugged, the kind of man the movies make out to be the villain, but you just know is hiding a heart somewhere underneath all the designer suits and calculating smirks. His face held the beginnings of five o’clock shadow, emphasizing a jawline even Zeus would be jealous of. His hair was dark and coiffed but had begun to show signs of the animal lurking beneath the surface of the man standing before her. He was tall and broad, and he smiled at her as if he already had her wrapped around his finger. She smiled to herself. He didn’t know he was really her prey tonight. 

“Hi, I’m Michael.” he said, his voice low and commanding. “Nice to meet you Michael, I’m Eva.” she smirked, her inside joke with herself threatening to bubble up to the surface. “Can I get you a drink, Eva?”, “I just ordered one, but something tells me you’ll be getting the rest” Abigail could not believe the woman coming out of her tonight. She felt like this was a total out of body experience. Exactly what she had been looking for.

Michael sat next to her and the pair chatted and drank, both making sure to throw in casual physical gestures along the way; a brush of fingertips across finger tops, a squeeze of a thigh, a stray hair moved out of place. Each move a volley and spin in the chaotic dance sport they were engaging in this evening.

Finally, Michael leaned in, determined to close the gap and set the tone for the rest of the evening. Abigail was in the middle of a sentence, some story she had been making up about a supposed friend of hers “listen Eva, I don’t mean to interrupt you. But I have been watching your lips move all night, and all I can think of is how beautiful they would look around my cock.” At first she was appalled, how dare he speak to her like that?! How dare he be so bold? And yet, she couldn’t deny the warm, tingling sensation she was feeling in her pussy as the words left his mouth.

She took a long sip of her drink, leaving him in excruciating silence, quietly calculating if he had gone too far. “Lets go.” she practically purred as she looked into his deep golden brown eyes. They stepped outside into the brisk evening air and he motioned over to a car. They got in the back and began driving towards what she assumed was his place. The tension hung in the air and she waited patiently to make any kind of move, hoping he would do something before she exploded with lust there in his back set.  They pulled into a long, secluded, winding driveway, which at the end sat a brusque stone house, illuminated by the glowing moonlight. He thanked the driver as they hopped out and grabbed her arm, leading her towards the heavy front door.

Once inside, he guided her towards the back of the house. “Let’s grab a drink from the kitchen and head out back,” he ordered. The house was sprawling and dark, clearly well taken care of and adorned with not much other than bold, odd pieces of art dispersed amongst the walls and halls leading around the home. He grabbed a bottle from the fridge and two glasses as they headed out towards what she assumed was the back door.

Her breath caught in her chest as she took in the view before her, the moonlight bathed the backyard; she saw beyond the slate tiles and waterfall pool, down the lush rolling hills and past the perfectly cultivated flower beds, lay a gorgeous crystal clear lake, lit by the moon. Something overtook her and she began to strip off her clothes, sauntering over towards the lake. Michael followed without saying a word.

They both hit the water and Abigail immediately spun around to take in his naked approaching form. He looked even better out of his suit than he had in it. She took in his muscular body, gleaming in the pale light. Stopping when she got to his stiffening cock. She was practically drooling at the sight of it. He approached her in the water, painfully slowly, finally stopping right in front of her. “You’re something else” he chuckled gently, before he grabbed her by the chin, pulling her face up towards his as he kissed her passionately. Her knees just about buckled as she felt her lips melt into his.

She felt completely naked in the water, no one but the moon to witness their tantalization. His strong hands ran down her body and stopped at her ass squeezing it, as she moaned into his mouth. He picked her up and wrapped her legs around him, as the fingers of his right hand slowly moved towards her slit, teasing the opening, feeling her wetness spread as he rubbed her clit. Meanwhile, she had moved to kissing her way up his neck and gently nibbling his ear, whispering her moans into it as he continued to move his fingers dexterously around her glistening pussy.

“Lets go back to shore, I want to put your cock in my mouth” Abigail moaned breathlessly. He carried her onto shore and threw her down gently, standing proudly in front of her, his hard cock glistening in the forbidden moonlight. She crawled towards him and hungrily took his dick in her mouth, making sure to lick to tip and cup his balls before making her way all the way down his shaft just go come half way back up, teasing him by switching her pace, using her hands expertly on his balls and shaft. She even took turns stroking his shaft eagerly as she lapped his balls into her mouth and sucked them gently as if they were two delicate eggs in her velvet mouth.

He pulled her up towards him “I need you. Now” he growled, unable to hide his primary needs. He plunged his stiff shaft into her inviting hole and she gasped and moaned, not caring if they woke the entire lake. They stared into eachothers eyes as they moved rhythmically in tune with one another, her pussy squeezing his big hard cock as he drove it in and out of her. Suddenly she pulled back and lifted her leg over his head, turning around so that he was now fucking her doggy style, “pull my hair” she smiled wickedly back at him. Michael obliged pulling her by the hair so that her back was arched and her head was right next to his lips, “you’re mine, aren’t you, you fucking slut” it was too much for her, she immediately shuddered and came all over his cock as he continuted to pound her.

“Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” she cried out in ecstasy. Michaeal picked up the pace, pounding her deeper and deeper, losing himself in the moment, about to cum himself, he lost all sense of time and reason and felt himself unleashing a torrent of cum that could only be likened to that of Thor. The pair collapsed beside each other on the beach, chests heaving, as they looked up at the moon and all her twinkling stars. “We should do that again sometime” chuckled Michael, ‘I’m in trouble’ thought Abigail.