alexxfay

the meaning of life

What is the purpose of life?Often askedmany answersbut what if it’s simple as this;to know love. Not just romantic lovebut platonic lovefamilial lovelove for a petor for a jobor even for a moment. To know love is not completewithout lossfor loss reveals the depth of our lovean unending cycle meant to show us our ownContinue reading “the meaning of life”

forever.

Another day where I wake up and I have the sense that you’re right thereclose enough to feel but not close enough to touchand yet last night, I swear I felt my hands on your chestyour heart beating rhythmically, my favourite safe place. I’m snapped awake and I have to remind myself that you’re goneandContinue reading “forever.”

little things

It’s funny,how we learn to appreciate the little thingsyou know, how the sky still has a tinge of light at 5:33and you smile to yourselfmaybe even feel that shiver of electricity run through your veinsthe whisper of warmer weather calls to youand suddenly the bitter cold winters seem bearablethere’s pleasures to be had ahead.

Oh January

I never liked January, it’s always felt stark white, cold, in comparison to the whimsical nature of December. I guess that makes sense, I’ve always been a one foot on the ground, head in the clouds kind of person. I try to see the good in everything, when I can remember to, when I’m notContinue reading “Oh January”

playing with fates

He’s just a boy, at heartchasing pretty facestrying to bury his demons in flesh. I’m just a girl, at heartpulling up my drawbridgeplaying princess, alone in my ivory tower. We’re just bad for each other, at hearta chemical reaction not meant for this life.

conflicting storms

He asks me if I love himI say not yet how could I?I barely know himhe hasn’t seen me. He thinks love is a tempestblowing in and bringing chaos in it’s wakedestroying what has been.I think love is a warm summer breezetickling my skinwarming my facewrapping me in sweet seduction. So who is righthow doContinue reading “conflicting storms”

time doesn’t stop

It’s been a year and eight months, almostsomehow it feels like both an eternity and no time at allthe magical shapeshifting nature of time under grief.I still feel like I can text you or DM you or call youunder false pre-tenses, just to hear your voice, to know you’re still therebut you’re somewhere else andContinue reading “time doesn’t stop”

28 Reflections

I just spent the afternoon riding my bike around town, in the rain.Although I am covered in rain water, sweat and mud, I can’t help but feel cleansed.Maybe it’s because I’m on the heels of my 28th birthday, and I always feel extra emotional around this time, or maybe it’s because the last two yearsContinue reading “28 Reflections”

full moon in Aquarius

I keep writing about the same thingover and overAbout youalways about youI’m afraid to stopbecause it’s all I have left of you.

lost in a heatwave

It’s crazy how you can go from not knowing someone at all, barely noticing them in that way, another face in the crowd, to lusting over them 24/7. Okay. Maybe that’s an exaggeration. But not really. At least it doesn’t feel like it. When I first met Theo, sure he was nice and I wasContinue reading “lost in a heatwave”