I keep writing of dreamsof loves lost found again only in slumberI poeticize the hell out ofunattainableunrecognizablesubconscious renderings. Except it’s not totallyunrecognizableI see shapes and sounds that are vaguely familiarthey resemble my waking lifein a painfully sharp wayleaving me longing for pasts unreachable. Waking up sobbingchest heavingbody tremblingsomehow louder in the calm darknessI curse myselfContinue reading “on existence”
Tag Archives: thoughts
into the void
I am tiredtired of giving more than I receiveand still feeling so alone.Constantly lost in my thoughts, drowning in despairno one to turn to.People always offer “but you can talk to me!”yet when I do, I can feel the discomfortor they give me some stock reply‘I’m sorry you feel that way!’ ‘That sucks!’Cold & clinical.MaybeContinue reading “into the void”
there’s no place like….
There is nothing worth saying right nowWe have been stripped of our freedoms time & time againI am a caged bird who refuses to singI am bored and restless and anxious for the future.Others are wondering how they’ll pay their rent or buy foodand I’ve been there, albeit for different reasonsI know it’s hard andContinue reading “there’s no place like….”
One Year
A year has gone byand not a day I haven’t thought of youSometimes I feel like my heart was buried with younot my physical heart, of course but the one that still hurts. I loved you at a time when i needed to be seen and somehow you saw me You taught me a newContinue reading “One Year”
Discourse on Grief
I sit here today and I think of you. I think of you often, everyday even, but today it’s supposed to be different because today is your birthday and it both is different and isn’t different all the same. The missing you is still the same, the cruel way the brain can skip down memoryContinue reading “Discourse on Grief”
questions
Me and my crystals and mywine. My feelings are so fucking loud I can’t drownsuffocateforgetleave behind. Everything sticks to megoodand bad. It permeates my skin itforms my being.I am an amalgamation of my experiences. Balance balance balance!!!! All I seek is balance. No wait all I seek is to be seen…..understood. What do you doContinue reading “questions”
Discourse on Duality
There exists in me so many versions, “duality” doesn’t seem to cover it. Yet, I guess anything can be broken down into binaries…I am many versions of myself. I am all sorts of confluencing parts & pieces, so often seemingly at odds, by their very nature. I worry I am both too smart and notContinue reading “Discourse on Duality”
what doesn’t kill you
Grief is a big feelingthat comfortably stretches out over timeexpanding & contractingunable to be contained She will consume you if you let herthe deep dark cavernous hallsshe’ll show you deep inside The fire burnsbut does she devour inwards or outwardswhat is life without suffering,the perfect partner to pleasure My tears they fall like rainand yetContinue reading “what doesn’t kill you”
reflections on being
I struggle to write the right thing,always concerned with if I sounddeep enough, consumable enoughlike, would I like this if I read it on instagram? Is it relatable enough? Trendy enough?Did I reference the right thing? Do I have the right problems?Or is it just obvious and contrived. Is this my inner critic?Or a glimpseContinue reading “reflections on being”
dangerous liaisons (the best friend)
There’s a first time for everything, I guess. I never imagined there would be a first time for this though. As I lay in bed, watching the morning light streaming through the haphazard blinds, casting lazy shadows on the hardwood floor, I couldn’t help but flash back to scenes of last night. How could somethingContinue reading “dangerous liaisons (the best friend)”
pretty words for wicked girls 