conflicting storms

He asks me if I love himI say not yet how could I?I barely know himhe hasn’t seen me. He thinks love is a tempestblowing in and bringing chaos in it’s wakedestroying what has been.I think love is a warm summer breezetickling my skinwarming my facewrapping me in sweet seduction. So who is righthow doContinue reading “conflicting storms”

time doesn’t stop

It’s been a year and eight months, almostsomehow it feels like both an eternity and no time at allthe magical shapeshifting nature of time under grief.I still feel like I can text you or DM you or call youunder false pre-tenses, just to hear your voice, to know you’re still therebut you’re somewhere else andContinue reading “time doesn’t stop”

the tiger and the kitten

Have you ever looked into the face of a docile purring catand seen the tiger lying underneath the surface? A brief glimpse of the stealthy predator that lives withinwaiting to pounce at it’s preywhen the moment is right? Have you ever felt that way about your own tiger within?Known this humdrum life is not allContinue reading “the tiger and the kitten”

into the void

I am tiredtired of giving more than I receiveand still feeling so alone.Constantly lost in my thoughts, drowning in despairno one to turn to.People always offer “but you can talk to me!”yet when I do, I can feel the discomfortor they give me some stock reply‘I’m sorry you feel that way!’ ‘That sucks!’Cold & clinical.MaybeContinue reading “into the void”

Discourse on Grief

I sit here today and I think of you. I think of you often, everyday even, but today it’s supposed to be different because today is your birthday and it both is different and isn’t different all the same. The missing you is still the same, the cruel way the brain can skip down memoryContinue reading “Discourse on Grief”

questions

Me and my crystals and mywine. My feelings are so fucking loud I can’t drownsuffocateforgetleave behind. Everything sticks to megoodand bad. It permeates my skin itforms my being.I am an amalgamation of my experiences. Balance balance balance!!!! All I seek is balance. No wait all I seek is to be seen…..understood. What do you doContinue reading “questions”

Discourse on Duality

There exists in me so many versions, “duality” doesn’t seem to cover it. Yet, I guess anything can be broken down into binaries…I am many versions of myself. I am all sorts of confluencing parts & pieces, so often seemingly at odds, by their very nature. I worry I am both too smart and notContinue reading “Discourse on Duality”

what doesn’t kill you

Grief is a big feelingthat comfortably stretches out over timeexpanding & contractingunable to be contained She will consume you if you let herthe deep dark cavernous hallsshe’ll show you deep inside The fire burnsbut does she devour inwards or outwardswhat is life without suffering,the perfect partner to pleasure My tears they fall like rainand yetContinue reading “what doesn’t kill you”

reflections on being

I struggle to write the right thing,always concerned with if I sounddeep enough, consumable enoughlike, would I like this if I read it on instagram? Is it relatable enough? Trendy enough?Did I reference the right thing? Do I have the right problems?Or is it just obvious and contrived. Is this my inner critic?Or a glimpseContinue reading “reflections on being”