I just spent the afternoon riding my bike around town, in the rain.Although I am covered in rain water, sweat and mud, I can’t help but feel cleansed.Maybe it’s because I’m on the heels of my 28th birthday, and I always feel extra emotional around this time, or maybe it’s because the last two yearsContinue reading “28 Reflections”
Category Archives: about me
full moon in Aquarius
I keep writing about the same thingover and overAbout youalways about youI’m afraid to stopbecause it’s all I have left of you.
Lost Love
I’m afraid to fall in love againbecause it feels disloyal. Like if I do it meant I didn’t love him as much as I said I didas much as I know I did. But what else is there to do? I loved a boyin very many ways we grew up together. The difference is hisContinue reading “Lost Love”
scared of the dark
I’m scared of the dark Mostly Except when I’m feeling particularly apathetic Then I think Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad If some unknown entity swallowed me whole
Spinning Out
Spinning Outthey call ityou’re losing controlthey call ityou’re making no sensethey call itwe don’t want to deal with itthey call ityour feelings are too muchthey call ityou’re making it upthey call itit’s not real they call ityou’re faking itthey call ityou want people to feel bad for you they call it. We’re so sorrythey callContinue reading “Spinning Out”
on existence
I keep writing of dreamsof loves lost found again only in slumberI poeticize the hell out ofunattainableunrecognizablesubconscious renderings. Except it’s not totallyunrecognizableI see shapes and sounds that are vaguely familiarthey resemble my waking lifein a painfully sharp wayleaving me longing for pasts unreachable. Waking up sobbingchest heavingbody tremblingsomehow louder in the calm darknessI curse myselfContinue reading “on existence”
into the void
I am tiredtired of giving more than I receiveand still feeling so alone.Constantly lost in my thoughts, drowning in despairno one to turn to.People always offer “but you can talk to me!”yet when I do, I can feel the discomfortor they give me some stock reply‘I’m sorry you feel that way!’ ‘That sucks!’Cold & clinical.MaybeContinue reading “into the void”
Discourse on Grief
I sit here today and I think of you. I think of you often, everyday even, but today it’s supposed to be different because today is your birthday and it both is different and isn’t different all the same. The missing you is still the same, the cruel way the brain can skip down memoryContinue reading “Discourse on Grief”
questions
Me and my crystals and mywine. My feelings are so fucking loud I can’t drownsuffocateforgetleave behind. Everything sticks to megoodand bad. It permeates my skin itforms my being.I am an amalgamation of my experiences. Balance balance balance!!!! All I seek is balance. No wait all I seek is to be seen…..understood. What do you doContinue reading “questions”
what doesn’t kill you
Grief is a big feelingthat comfortably stretches out over timeexpanding & contractingunable to be contained She will consume you if you let herthe deep dark cavernous hallsshe’ll show you deep inside The fire burnsbut does she devour inwards or outwardswhat is life without suffering,the perfect partner to pleasure My tears they fall like rainand yetContinue reading “what doesn’t kill you”
pretty words for wicked girls 