alexxfay

on mental health

On my good days I am like sunshine extending out to reach the farthest corners. On my bad days I am like fog overwhelming, thick, impossible to navigate through. On my best days I am certain that I am cherished beyond measure that everyone who loves me does so unyieldingly. On my worst days IContinue reading “on mental health”

wildfire girl

She is a wildfire,who doesn’t care who she burns downon her quest to self-destruct. A raging fire can be a beautiful thing,so full of life and yetit so savagely destroys, as well. Her flames burn crimson red and deep ochre,even violent blue, not a solemn blue,though sometimes it may seem so. Sadness can be destructiveContinue reading “wildfire girl”

big questions

Do you claw your way back from oblivion?It’s easy to sit here in all of my moods and sayit would be easier to just not feel at all. When you’re in that moment, when you feel the life draining from you,your consciousness fadingout, are you suddenly desperate not to leave? Sure, life is grim andContinue reading “big questions”

dream sequence

What dreams do know,as they float about,we sleep softly andyet, our heads are in places much remote. A sigh, a toss, a turn,reliving ones lossin the dark of nightit’s hard to know what’s wrongwhat’s right? These dreams do lie,and play their tricksthey dangle promises on our lipsso that when we wakethe sweetest painjust to haveContinue reading “dream sequence”

the monsters in us all

How easy it is for us to bemoan our own hardships, the hurts and betrayals that have been done onto us, what about the terror we enact on others? To live without fault is near impossible, if not entirely so. Each of us comes away from this life scathed and scathing. It is effortless toContinue reading “the monsters in us all”

on love and loss

‘all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice” has always been something I truly believed in. how do you define love when no two loves are the same? how do you move on from a love lost when you know there’s never anything that can replace it? and then toContinue reading “on love and loss”

small magic

I have been jumping from ledge to ledge for the past five years. Putting up with bad behaviour, letting people treat me however they wanted, as long is it meant I could survive. I wanted to desperately to leave where I came from, not because of my family, who has persevered and loved each otherContinue reading “small magic”

letter from a girl who also lost her brother.

Welcome to the club. It’s a club that no one wants to be a part of and memberships are non refundable. While no two memberships are the same, there are some parts that remain consistent. Most people won’t understand. That’s okay. Some people will act like it’s not a big deal. It is. Don’t letContinue reading “letter from a girl who also lost her brother.”

wherefore for art thou, existence?

Perhaps just to be sentient is enough. Does life need a purpose or meaning, or is it enough to just be? Is BEING, consciousness, experience, enough to be worth it? In this moment, it feels like it is. To experience life, to feel it, and not only that, but to influence it. Your existence, noContinue reading “wherefore for art thou, existence?”

untitled screenplay: act 1 scene 1

Fade in: We see a worn wooden floor. The camera pans up slowly to reveal the darkened insides of a cabin, a snowy mountain range can be seen in silhouette outside the window. ELIJAH, a man who values his privacy and seclusion, sits in front of a small, wood fireplace. MAX, a white, fluffy, dogContinue reading “untitled screenplay: act 1 scene 1”