alexxfay

the monsters in us all

How easy it is for us to bemoan our own hardships, the hurts and betrayals that have been done onto us, what about the terror we enact on others? To live without fault is near impossible, if not entirely so. Each of us comes away from this life scathed and scathing. It is effortless toContinue reading “the monsters in us all”

on love and loss

‘all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice” has always been something I truly believed in. how do you define love when no two loves are the same? how do you move on from a love lost when you know there’s never anything that can replace it? and then toContinue reading “on love and loss”

small magic

I have been jumping from ledge to ledge for the past five years. Putting up with bad behaviour, letting people treat me however they wanted, as long is it meant I could survive. I wanted to desperately to leave where I came from, not because of my family, who has persevered and loved each otherContinue reading “small magic”

letter from a girl who also lost her brother.

Welcome to the club. It’s a club that no one wants to be a part of and memberships are non refundable. While no two memberships are the same, there are some parts that remain consistent. Most people won’t understand. That’s okay. Some people will act like it’s not a big deal. It is. Don’t letContinue reading “letter from a girl who also lost her brother.”

wherefore for art thou, existence?

Perhaps just to be sentient is enough. Does life need a purpose or meaning, or is it enough to just be? Is BEING, consciousness, experience, enough to be worth it? In this moment, it feels like it is. To experience life, to feel it, and not only that, but to influence it. Your existence, noContinue reading “wherefore for art thou, existence?”

untitled screenplay: act 1 scene 1

Fade in: We see a worn wooden floor. The camera pans up slowly to reveal the darkened insides of a cabin, a snowy mountain range can be seen in silhouette outside the window. ELIJAH, a man who values his privacy and seclusion, sits in front of a small, wood fireplace. MAX, a white, fluffy, dogContinue reading “untitled screenplay: act 1 scene 1”

reflections

As the year draws to a close, I can’t help but reflect on all that has transpired and all that I’ve learned. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned this year is how to walk away from people and situations that are toxic or not serving a positive purpose. When I think back toContinue reading “reflections”

escapism

Can you feel it? The call, the call to the unknown. The urge to run to flee to frolic to just fucking go. I hear the wind and I close my eyes and I imagine myself light as air, floating through time and space just going, somewhere else, some other time. I feel restless allContinue reading “escapism”

Lettre D’amour pour le Ciel

*reads a bit of Baudelaire & thinks she can write poems in french* Shout out to google docs for editing this for me. I don’t think I’ve ever written in french outside of school and maybe the occasional instagram caption so don’t roast me too hard… Je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais quelquefois,mon attention seraitContinue reading “Lettre D’amour pour le Ciel”

hallmark, but make it spicy

The air stung her cheeks as she stepped out into the crisp December evening, the traffic dinned in the background as she looked at the screen of her phone, photos grazing her consciousness as she scrolled through her Instagram timeline. Arianna was heading out to her best friends condo for the first time in months,Continue reading “hallmark, but make it spicy”