forever.

Another day where I wake up and I have the sense that you’re right there
close enough to feel but not close enough to touch
and yet last night, I swear I felt my hands on your chest
your heart beating rhythmically, my favourite safe place.

I’m snapped awake and I have to remind myself that you’re gone
and it doesn’t make any sense because your presence still lingers
I swear you’re right fucking there.

So I wail and cry out to the universe
because even two years later it’s still so unfair
I turn on your music and I torture myself
emotionally cutting just to hear your voice.

I miss you every day in ebbs and flows
you’re always on the tip of my tongue, the edge of my mind
and I know I’m romanticizing it all.

But I can’t help it,
I’ve loved you at my lowest,
at my wildest,
and now.

I think I’ll love you forever.