I sit here today and I think of you. I think of you often, everyday even, but today it’s supposed to be different because today is your birthday and it both is different and isn’t different all the same.
The missing you is still the same, the cruel way the brain can skip down memory lane, suspending for a moment your knowledge of reality, that these images one can conjure up so eloquently are fading fading fading and at the end of it all you’re still gone.
While this is your first birthday that you’re gone, it’s a reminder that while life moves on, and everyone you once knew is growing up and growing old and going on with the march of time, you will forever be crystallized as a young man, still very much a boy at heart, with so much pain and so much potential. I will forever remember your sheepish grin and tendency to be covered in bruises and scrapes and the way you were always fighting; fighting to be better, stronger, smarter…fighting but always with something funny to say about it. To somehow both be a source of light and joy and childish humour but also a person with the type of wisdom you either have or you don’t, that comes from somewhere deep and dark.
A true example of the notion of the two wolves that live inside each of us, yours were constantly battling and while I am forever torn apart by the winner of that competition, I still feel so lucky that I got to know both sides. That I got to laugh and enjoy life with you and that the broken parts of me felt absolutely seen by the broken parts of you.
Today is the same and it is different and every day since you’ve left has been tinged with unquestionable sadness and loss that often feels unbearable. But one thing I know about loss is that it is bearable, you get up and you go on and while I may not know why that is, I know that it is and so I sit here and I think of you.
pretty words for wicked girls 